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The Angel of Death

  Existence is nothing but painful. Everything feels hopeless. The future looks bleak. Every morning, I wake up and keep on staring at this black spot on the wall. Is it even black ? I’m starting to question my visual ability to discern colours. Or the world must’ve gone colourless.   I sleep a lot these days. There’s not much to do around here anyway. Sleep is an astonishing ability to have. You lose all consciousness willingly while your subconscious works on. You know, man, human consciousness wasn’t supposed to develop. But it did, and that makes us harmful creatures to everyone and everything around us. Ancient monkeys weren’t supposed to develop a well-functioning brain such as our own. The Darwinian uncertainty principle has worked out really well for us. Life wasn’t supposed to develop as much as we have, from an evolutionary point of view. Under our own cosmological and physical circumstances or in other slightly or entirely different ones, sustaining life is hardly ever p
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दर्द-ए-तोहफा

दर्द एक सपना है, जनाब, दर्द एक सदमा है। रूह के रोंगटे खडे करने वाला दर्द एक दास्तान-ए-नगमा है। दर्द कातिल भी है दर्द ही कत्ल करने वाला जाहिल भी है। दर्द मोहब्बत भी है दर्द ही नूर-ए-इश्क के बुझने में है। दर्द इबादत में है दर्द शिकायत में है। जो लफ्जों में बयां न हो सके दर्द इस दिल की हर मखमली मातम में है। दर्द एक बहता दरिया है दर्द वो शामें अदा करने का जरिया है। इस उदासी भरी जिंदगी को अर्थ देने का नजरिया है। दर्द अकेलापन है दर्द ही अकेले का साथी भी है। दर्द से ही हम जन्मे है दर्द में ही जिएं है और दर्द से ही मिट जाना है।                                                             - Shayarlal
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My Beloved Sapling

 Dear diary,                    I haven't spoken to you in a few months. I'll catch you up with a unique experience I had in my childhood.                    When I was a child, my grandparents had a little kitten. I used to visit them frequently as a child just to play with the kitty. I had named her Lichi. She was a beautiful, cute calico. She used to sit in my lap and purr all the time. She used to chase around a small plastic ball. It was a funny sight. She liked playing with a cotton string. Like a baby growing it's milk teeth, she wanted to chew on the string. Eventually, she started biting my hand in a playful manner. But after a year or so, my grandfather had to give her up for adoption. I cried a lot. Lichi had, in a way, become my best friend. I never saw her again. If she's still alive, she must be about 14 years old now. There was a lot going on in life back then, which made it easier to cope with it. She helped cope with a lot of what was going on as well.
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Findings of a mere observer

 Last week, I was just sitting by myself, and my thoughts lingered upon a certain topic. So, I'm at the age where I find romantic relationships interesting and see them blossom all around me. Some blossom, some wither away and some try to blossom through the mushroom like bacteria clinging to the stems. All in all, it's always a beautiful sight to watch. Today, let me give you some insights of a working happy relationship. My forte neither lies in relationships nor in giving advice, but it leans towards observations. So I'll speak from observation. Why do we wish to be with someone ? I've felt this need and pondered upon this question countless times. Is it to feel less lonely ? Is it to be able to share your life with another human ? Is it to feel connected ? Is it because we need emotional, mental and physical security ? Is it a need for physical intimacy ? I think it's all of this and so much more. I'll write what I've observed from my conversations with
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A Letter to Samantha

  Hey Samantha,                            How're you doing ? It's been a while since you went off. Oh, by the way, my book came out 2 weeks ago. It's gained some critical acclaim. It's all thanks to you for reading, combining, compiling and sending the letters to the editor. It was a really nice thing to do.                            Anyway, I wrote Catherine a letter after you went off. Apologized to her for the pain we caused each other among other things. We're divorced but not mad anymore but we're friends. You know, before you, I never could understand why Catherine was always so mad at me. But I think I do now. The more you do things for someone, the more you get involved. I did stuff for her, tried to uplift her out of her childhood insecurity of never being enough, just let her try and appreciate her own stuff. But I guess we grew apart together and I think I kept myself from her and isolated her within the relationship. That must've been hard on h
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मैं और मेरी तनहाई

इस अंधेरे के साए में है हम कैद उस उजाले की प्यास मे तन्हे। जिसके लिए ये लंबी रात है थमी इतनी देर ये जुल्म जिसके लिए है सहे। ये खामोशियों में भी जो आवाजे है गूंजती कहती है कि , ' अब तो हमें आजाद करो , अब तो हमे पंख फैलाकर उस आसमान को छूने दो। ' मगर फिर भी ये दिल हिम्मत जुटाता नही। वो मधुर संगीत सुनने की चाह है , पूरा पाताल भी जो सुनकर है चहक उठे। अब ना उनकी मुहब्बत ना ही कोई यादे है हमको सताती , जो ये रात ही झूठी आजादी के अब ख्वाब दिखती। जैसे हो कोई बुरा सपना , जिससे जागने की ना कोई उम्मीद ना ही कोई राह हो। लगता है कि अब इस रास्ते पर हमे अकेले ही चलना है , के अंधेरे में परछाई भी साथ छोड़ देती है।                                                       - Shayarlal
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Festivals and Happiness

It's Ganesh Festival and I went out for a little ride. I'm told that I think too much , and that's exactly what I did. The bike ride was a really good thing for that. As an atheist (नास्तिक), I don't believe in idol worship or even in the concept of a deity. But, I'm pretty surprised at how that gives people the joy and happiness that was visible today. Even the usually quiet slums were filled up with the cries of 'Ganpati Bappa Morya'. It is really inspiring how these people, who find it hard to survive the rat race, can do everything when it comes to this. Come to think of it, I've seen similar sites all over the month of Shravan (5th month in Hindu calendar), on Christmas, in the month of Ramadan and on the various occasions of Eid. People exhibit various emotions. They are overwhelmed , excited and happy. These same people, on any other day, would act like they don't care if you exist. On these special occasions, these people suddenly start behav
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