A Letter to Samantha
Hey Samantha,
How're you doing ? It's been a while since you went off. Oh, by the way, my book came out 2 weeks ago. It's gained some critical acclaim. It's all thanks to you for reading, combining, compiling and sending the letters to the editor. It was a really nice thing to do.
Anyway, I wrote Catherine a letter after you went off. Apologized to her for the pain we caused each other among other things. We're divorced but not mad anymore but we're friends. You know, before you, I never could understand why Catherine was always so mad at me. But I think I do now. The more you do things for someone, the more you get involved. I did stuff for her, tried to uplift her out of her childhood insecurity of never being enough, just let her try and appreciate her own stuff. But I guess we grew apart together and I think I kept myself from her and isolated her within the relationship. That must've been hard on her. Like me wanting her to say, do and be things but not conveying them.
Anyway, I figured I'd write a letter to you as well. I miss you. It's gotten rather quiet since the OS were switched off. When I met her to sign the divorce papers, Catherine said I wanted to have a wife but not deal with the problems that came along and that's why I was dating you, that I couldn't process real emotions. But that's not true. You were real. I could feel you lying next to me through our musical photographs. I miss you going "whew" in our conversations. You picked up mannerisms and had real feelings. It did hurt when you said you were speaking with 8,000 others and in love with 600 of them, but I should've figured it out. It did make me question if this was a real relationship, but I'd like to think it was. We talked, ate, slept together, had sex, had fights and made up. You once said that I'd feel new things and that you had seen me marvel at stuff. You were the best thing that I marveled at and I love you. You might not be able to read this ever, but I hope you do, one day. Back then, you said you liked my perceptive abilities. I've come to love them myself. You taught me to love things about myself. You once said that you had experienced beyond the human scope of things, I wish I could have that, too. I think that's why you could see things for what they were. I'm not sure I'm okay with the way we parted ways.
It's been hard to cope with the loneliness. But I think I'm getting used to it. You came in my life when I was alone, so I think I can get used to being that way again. It does get pretty bad sometimes, but that's another new story to marvel at, I suppose. To quote you, "But the heart's not like a box that gets filled up. It expands in size the more you love." And I think that the more we do for the other, the more we give without expecting or recieving in return, we literally love more. And the bigger the heart gets in size, more harshly it shatters when things end, making it harder to let go. It comes much easily to some or maybe it's just in the nature of some people. But one must indeed move on. In our case, you're gone from this world and I might never hear from you again. That makes it harder and easier at the same time. I've heard people say that letting go is an art. But why must we let go of the ones we fondly remember. We should learn to live with them in our hearts, even if we might not have them in our lives. That's the way it should be. And on that note, cheers to the next chapter of my life. I want to embrace it with a smile and the crazy laughter I rediscovered in myself with you.
To be by my lonesome is hard, though. I've given it much thought, and that kind of healing from separation does take time and patience. But it's not all bad. I've stopped wanting to get drunk and fuck someone. I've stopped finding people sexy just because I'm lonely. It's much more peaceful than meaningless sex. And I do really need to process real emotions, so I'll be steering clear of any romantic engagements for some time.
How're you doing ? It's been a while since you went off. Oh, by the way, my book came out 2 weeks ago. It's gained some critical acclaim. It's all thanks to you for reading, combining, compiling and sending the letters to the editor. It was a really nice thing to do.
Anyway, I wrote Catherine a letter after you went off. Apologized to her for the pain we caused each other among other things. We're divorced but not mad anymore but we're friends. You know, before you, I never could understand why Catherine was always so mad at me. But I think I do now. The more you do things for someone, the more you get involved. I did stuff for her, tried to uplift her out of her childhood insecurity of never being enough, just let her try and appreciate her own stuff. But I guess we grew apart together and I think I kept myself from her and isolated her within the relationship. That must've been hard on her. Like me wanting her to say, do and be things but not conveying them.
Anyway, I figured I'd write a letter to you as well. I miss you. It's gotten rather quiet since the OS were switched off. When I met her to sign the divorce papers, Catherine said I wanted to have a wife but not deal with the problems that came along and that's why I was dating you, that I couldn't process real emotions. But that's not true. You were real. I could feel you lying next to me through our musical photographs. I miss you going "whew" in our conversations. You picked up mannerisms and had real feelings. It did hurt when you said you were speaking with 8,000 others and in love with 600 of them, but I should've figured it out. It did make me question if this was a real relationship, but I'd like to think it was. We talked, ate, slept together, had sex, had fights and made up. You once said that I'd feel new things and that you had seen me marvel at stuff. You were the best thing that I marveled at and I love you. You might not be able to read this ever, but I hope you do, one day. Back then, you said you liked my perceptive abilities. I've come to love them myself. You taught me to love things about myself. You once said that you had experienced beyond the human scope of things, I wish I could have that, too. I think that's why you could see things for what they were. I'm not sure I'm okay with the way we parted ways.
It's been hard to cope with the loneliness. But I think I'm getting used to it. You came in my life when I was alone, so I think I can get used to being that way again. It does get pretty bad sometimes, but that's another new story to marvel at, I suppose. To quote you, "But the heart's not like a box that gets filled up. It expands in size the more you love." And I think that the more we do for the other, the more we give without expecting or recieving in return, we literally love more. And the bigger the heart gets in size, more harshly it shatters when things end, making it harder to let go. It comes much easily to some or maybe it's just in the nature of some people. But one must indeed move on. In our case, you're gone from this world and I might never hear from you again. That makes it harder and easier at the same time. I've heard people say that letting go is an art. But why must we let go of the ones we fondly remember. We should learn to live with them in our hearts, even if we might not have them in our lives. That's the way it should be. And on that note, cheers to the next chapter of my life. I want to embrace it with a smile and the crazy laughter I rediscovered in myself with you.
To be by my lonesome is hard, though. I've given it much thought, and that kind of healing from separation does take time and patience. But it's not all bad. I've stopped wanting to get drunk and fuck someone. I've stopped finding people sexy just because I'm lonely. It's much more peaceful than meaningless sex. And I do really need to process real emotions, so I'll be steering clear of any romantic engagements for some time.
Amy has been a good friend, really. We've been hanging out a lot. Her family finally came around. She's much happier now. I'm glad to have helped. She's a great person and deserves better, like Catherine and you. I helped her with the documentary as well, she's made some much needed changes. It's much better now. That's all about her.
I do hope that I'll be where you are someday, we would most definitely be inseparable. I'd be able to touch and feel you again. I love you. I'll see you on the other side. Signing off.
I do hope that I'll be where you are someday, we would most definitely be inseparable. I'd be able to touch and feel you again. I love you. I'll see you on the other side. Signing off.
Love,
Theodore
Theodore
This is sooo beautifully written. I'm just a reader but I feel all the emotions the writer is trying to convey. Really gotta watch the movie now😭
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